And as the mental cloud, the fog went away and I could see clearly, there are so obviously a thousand better ways that I could have gone through a divorce or a thousand better ways that if I wanted to be close with my family or if I felt that burning of a father who felt…” I lost myself, I lost my way, and I sat there in a cell being, like, ‘How did I become this person?’ It kind of blew my own mind.
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He continued, "I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s, like, I was this one person for most of my life, and then for this period of time, I had this very isolated, different type of mindset, and then have since returned to being much of who I was in the earlier part of my life plus, of course, the added perspective of everything I went through," said the singer. “My thinking was so isolated in my own mind and disconnected from my support system that I didn’t really even fathom or realize how much I had lost myself and the core of who I really was.
Now, opening up to Garza, Lambesis has reflected on how his life turned in 2013 and the decision to solicit a hitman (that turned out to be an undercover cop) to murder his wife. He has also since remarried twice after the downfall of his first marriage. He's also offered an apology to his family, spent time pursuing a background in social work and became an addiction treatment counselor. Upon his release from jail, the singer sought to make amends with his former bandmates and has reclaimed his spot in As I Lay Dying.
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When you take testosterone, it elevates your level to 10 times what your body is normally doing," stated at the time, though also taking full blame for his actions. Your body naturally produces a decent level of testosterone and keeps your estrogen levels under that, if you’re a guy. My hormone levels were really unbalanced. Shortly after pleading guilty, Lambesis granted an interview in which he discussed how his steroid use had clouded his thinking. "When I was arrested, I had come off testosterone-based steroids. In a recent podcast interview with Suicide Silence's Chris Garza on The Garza Show, the vocalist reflected on that dark period in his life, offered insight on his mindset and shared his thoughts on making amends in his life moving forward.
The singer eventually plead guilty to charges of solicitation to commit murder and spent nearly two years in jail before being paroled in 2016. As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis had solicited a hitman to kill his wife as he was in the midst of a potential split. It was the news that shocked many in 2013.
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